You Say Diverticulae And I Say Diverticulum…
“Would you like a chaperone?” asked the nice lady doctor as I lay on...
CALIFORNIA DREAMIN’
Are you desperate to get away from the washing up and travel the...
HOTEL AMOUR
I’m not sure how to frame this so I’ll just come out and say it. I...
BOTOX & ME AND THE JAVA SEA
Sydney is a merry-go-round of crypto millionaires, shimmering blondes and fabulously wealthy dentists all having a whale of a time. So long as none of them plan on ageing.
MUMMA HAS LEFT THE BUILDING
”These aren’t my people mumma!” she wailed. ”Darling”, I replied, ”This is called society, and deep down everyone is exactly like you”.
OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES
Last week I went to a cocktail party hosted by supreme beings. They had the right sofa, the right cushions, the right scented candle
CHRISTMAS SCHMISTMAS
When I was 5, I was coaxed into a toy drawer by my big sister. As I lay there, blinking in the dark, I composed an operetta involving two
CAMP LOCKDOWN
Starved of an audience and bored out of my mind, I have recently taken to strutting around the village, Queen blaring in my ears…
PLEASE DON’T LICK MY FACE
I’m a Londoner by rights so I’m not sure how I ended up on a deserted Somerset canal path, scared shitless of the gangly youth
EPIPHANY IN PINK
Last Saturday my friend invited me to a ’House of Honey’ rave in Shepherds Bush. The theme was pink so I decided to come as