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Starved of an audience and bored out of my mind, I have recently taken to strutting around the village, Queen blaring in my ears... Gallileo! (gallileo)
 Gallileo! (gallileo), Gallileo Figaro..magnifico –oh-oh-oh- No! No! No! No! No! No!…
life fright
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Life Fright - an evening of comedy

Hello, darlings! Last Friday 21st June, I premiered my one-woman show Life Fright! for a packed audience at Rook Lane Arts in Frome. It was one of the most exhilarating nights of my life and marked the beginning of my journey as a Stand…
epiphany in pink
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Epiphany in Pink

Last Saturday my friend invited me to a ’House of Honey’ rave in Shepherds Bush. The theme was pink so I decided to come as Penelope Pitstop. As we wandered down the Uxbridge Road people gave me funny looks. ”Do I look like a man?”…
Our Secret

My Botox hell

Snow White closes the curtains, shines an anglepoise lamp into my eyes and coos the words “You. are. beautiful,” as she pierces my worry line with a needle.
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Hot people

I know perfectly well that Bikram yoga is weird because I heard its Rolex n’ G string-clad founder say on Youtube that one drop of his sperm is worth a million dollars.
Ecstatic Dance

Man marinade

Cindy said “You’ve been gloomy lately, come to Ecstatic Dance in Bristol”. “OK” I said. But when Cat Weazel opened the door of the venue with “Welcome pilgrims! Check your boundaries at the door,” I wish I'd done what I'd set…

Rose versus the void

Humans we are lucky and sentient enough to experience unconditional love and that sure beats Lorazepam.
From perky to this

Sober as a drudge

“I'd rather die than give up alcohol,” said my father, five years before he did die of alcohol-related cancer of the everything, a bottle of Cab Sav wedged between his hospital bed and the wall. Since then I've been faithfully knocking…

The sexy horseman of Andalucia

Once, not so very long ago, I lived in Niguelas, a beautiful but remote Andaluz village, folded into a crack in the Sierra Nevada mountains.

How to make friends with the bully in your head

I felt as perky as Victoria Beckham’s breasts when I read that the Coalition have pledged to place treatment for stress, anxiety and depression on a par with physical illness. I'm so TIRED of asking my acquaintances how they are and…

Christmas Schmistmas

On Christmas Eve I watched two grown women fighting over the last huggable unicorn. Actual fighting. Security called and everything. “Put me in your microwave and I will keep you warm,” promised the unicorn. That's all it was. The promise…

Don't believe everything you read about the NHS - it's like a fun hotel!

Like most people, I have a fear of hospitals. They spell MRSA, Clostridium Difficile, limbs wrongly removed and exhausted, sub-qualified Congolese nurses misreading decimal points and giving people overdoses. So when my son was injured and…